What If
by allure18
Summary: What if Will hadn't remembered his curse in the attic when he kissed Tessa? What if he hadn't stopped himself? What if everything had progressed just as it should have?


What if Will hadn't remembered his curse in the attic when he kissed Tessa? What if he hadn't stopped himself? What if everything had progressed just as it should have?

**Author's Note** Hello there everyone! I just finished reading _Clockwork Prince_ and this scene from_ Clockwork Angel_ and one from _Clockwork Prince_ have stuck in my head. I had to wonder 'what if' to them and this was the result. I hope you all like it!

**What If...**

"_Are you cold?" Lacing his fingers with hers, Will took her hand and pressed it to his cheek. She was startled by the feverish heat of his skin. "Tess," he said, his voice thick and soft with desire, and she leaned toward him, swaying like a tree whose branches were weighted by snow. Her whole body ached; she ached, as if there were a terrible hollow emptiness inside her. She was more conscious of Will than she had ever been of anything or anyone else in her life, of the faint shine of blue beneath his half closed lids, of the shadow of light stumble across his jaw where he hadn't shaved, of faint white scars that dotted the skin of his shoulders and throat – and more than anything else of his mouth, the crescent shape of it, the slight dent in the center of his bottom lip. When he leaned toward her and brushed his lips across hers, she reached for him as if she would otherwise drown._

_For a moment their mouths pressed hotly together, Will's free hand tangling in her hair. Tessa gasped when his arms went around her, her skirts snagging on the floor as he pulled her hard against him. She put her hands lightly around his neck; his skin was burning hot to the touch. Through the thin wet material of his shirt, she could feel the muscles of his shoulders, hard and smooth. His fingers found her jewelled hair clasp and pulled at it, and her hair spilled down around her shoulders, the comb rattling to the floor, and Tessa gave a little cry of surprise against his mouth._

Will, buoyed by the small noise, began to advance on her, pressing her back further and further until she felt her back ease onto the floor. Will's presence above her was intoxicating. Her hand fell to grasp his upper arm and she felt the muscles bunched there, supporting himself. She readjusted herself, never taking her lips from his, and her knee brushed his placed between her own. Heat radiated off of him like a bon fire, scorching her front while her back cooled in the holy water soaked floor.

Suddenly, Will drew his lips from hers, pressing his forehead against hers. Breathing heavily, he said, "Tess, we shouldn't-".

"Don't," she breathed, cupping his face and capturing his lips passionately with her own, surprised at her own boldness. She could still sense his hesitation, his inner turmoil. She buried one hand in his hair while her other travelled down his side to rest on his rib cage. She lightly scratched his back with her nails and that broke his resolve. He took control, kissing her desperately, settling his hand on her hip and squeezing lightly before continuing down the outside of her leg.

"Will," she gasped when he finally touched her bare skin, just below her knee where her skirts had been hiked up in the flurry of activity. Will's touch burned a slow trail of fire up her thigh, his laboured breathing hot on her face. She could feel his heart pounding in his chest, pressed firmly against hers where she was certain he could feel her own heart thundering within her ribcage. Her hands dropped to the open collar of his shirt where she began fumbling with the buttons. She had two undone when Will knocked her hands aside. For a terrifying moment Tessa though he'd changed his mind, that she'd been too forward, that it would have been proper to push him away, until buttons rattled to the floor as Will impatiently ripped the front of his shirt open for her. A giggle escaped her throat and Will smiled against lips.

"I've waited too long for this to worry about such silly things as _buttons_," he told her, his voice husky. His blue, blue eyes darkened with lust as she timidly let her hand move lower, over his neck where his pulse jumped, his muscled chest, his chiselled stomach. "Tess," Will breathed, eyes closed with a look of restraint on his face.

She cupped his face with both hands and his blue eyes slowly opened to bore into hers and she whispered, so quietly she wasn't sure he'd heard at first, "Touch me, Will."

He continued to stare into her eyes, searching them for something. Tessa felt the blush creeping into her cheeks, but refused to look away. She would _not_ be ashamed of what she wanted in this new, improper world of Shadowhunters. Whatever Will had been looking for, he must have found it because he kissed her with a bruising force that she returned and heat shot through her body with every new inch of skin he explored. His lips trailed down her jaw to her neck where he left feather light kisses all over the thin, sensitive skin of her throat, under her ear, and over her pulse. With the first touch of his burning tongue to her cool flesh she gasped at the sensation and held him closer.

Suddenly she was heaved into an upright position, Will holding her tightly against his body, her knees on either side of his lap. He continued to lavish attention on her neck and exposed collar bone as his hands began to work on the lacings of her dress. Another rush of heat flared through her body, surging to the forbidden place between her legs, telling her to push the ruined shirt from Will's shoulders. It fell to the floor with a soft splash and Tessa's fingertips explored the expanses of newly exposed skin. The black twining ink of new marks and the faded silver scars of old ones blended together on his skin, the muscles rippling beneath. Tessa lowered her lips to Will's neck, placing a timid kiss on a faded scar from what looked like a knife.

"Mmm, Tessa," he sighed, encouraging her to continue doting kisses upon his skin. His hands worked with greater haste to unlace her dress.

"Just rip it, Will," she whispered in his ear. She wasn't sure what demon possessed her to be so bold and vocal, but she felt empowered by it. "It's not my dress, Will," she urged, "Just rip it off." Only a split second passed before the attic was filled with the sound of tearing fabric as Will ripped open the front of Camille's once-lovely, bloodstained dress. They both paused then, staring into each other's eyes for a long moment. Finally Will swallowed and his eyes dropped to the tear in the dress running between her breasts and down to her belly button, revealing a generous expanse of soft, creamy skin no boy had ever seen before.

It was so quiet in the attic Tessa could hear Will's erratic breathing as well as her own as he hesitantly raised his hand and placed it between her breasts. Tessa inhaled sharply at the heat from his palm on her untouched flesh. Will glanced up worriedly, but Tessa nodded for him to continue. She _wanted_ this. Torturously slowly his hand descended, wrapped around her bare waist, roved over her back and finally came back around to the front to cup one of her breasts. Tessa held her breath as Will knocked aside the ruined fabric to gaze upon her for the first time. Eternity passed in the three seconds he started until finally he glanced back up at her face.

His lips parted and he said "You're perfect." He placed a searing kiss between her breasts that sent Tessa's head reeling. Her heart was beating out of control, she was feeling something she'd never felt before, and all she knew was she needed to get Will out of the rest of his clothes. She caught his mouth up in a ferocious kiss that he returned with equal vigour and her hands began to work on his belt. She was being driven by instinct alone, with no idea what lay ahead, only the knowledge that Will would guide her. Vaguely she heard the tearing of more fabric and before she knew what was happening she was entirely naked, sitting in Will's lap with his pants entirely undone and no idea what to do next. All she knew was she felt feverish, a combination of the desire coursing through her body and the heat radiating off of Will in waves. Her eyes locked with Will's and he saw the confused look in them.

"Do you trust me?" he asked and Tessa found herself nodding before she'd even thought about the question.

"Yes," she replied. He kissed her soundly and began to lower her back to the floor. She probably should have been shivering, sprawled on the cool wet floorboards of the attic, but Will's heat surrounded her, warming her to her core.

He settled between her legs, covering her body with his. His fingers deliberately trailed over her body, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Tessa began breathing through her mouth as his lips traveled down her throat again; she was gasping for air, the sensations leaving her breathless and excited. She felt anticipation, but for what she was unsure. His fingers went ever lower, closer and closer to the juncture of her thighs.

He was caressing the skin on the inside of her hip bone when she gasped, "Will!"

He immediately stopped his ministrations and looked up at her worriedly. "We don't have to do this, Tessa," he assured her and cupped her face with both hands, resting his weight on his elbows. "I'll understand entirely if you don't want to."

"No," Tessa assured him, looking around wildly. "I want to! I do, I'm just a bit afraid... I feel like I'm anticipating something, but I don't know what and I'm having feelings I've never had before and it's just all so new to me!"

"Look at me Tessa," Will commanded and her eyes snapped to his immediately. "Don't ever feel you have to be afraid of me, do you understand?"

Tessa nodded, taking a deep breath. "I trust you, Will."

Will kissed her again and again, his tongue brushing her lips, asking for entry. She granted it and his tongue moved in to sweep her mouth, setting her senses abuzz. She didn't even realize where his hand was until it brushed the opening between her legs and she jumped with surprise.

"Tess-" Will began, freezing in place.

Tessa cut him off. "I'm okay, I feel like this may be what I was anticipating."

He chuckled and captured her lips again. His fingers teased and probed, caressing the nub above her opening. With that, she let out a moan of pleasure and he slipped a single finger inside of her.

"Oh God, Will," she choked, adjusting to the pleasurable invasion. She'd never been touched like this before but she thought she might like it.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Keep going," she urged and he began to move his finger in and out of her moderately, letting her adjust.

"Let me know if I hurt you," Will warned before inserting another finger into her. She could feel it was a tight fit, but it still felt good. She realized she was holding onto Will with a white knuckled grip and loosened her hold a bit, but kept a firm grip as she was sure he was the only thing holding her to this earth. After a minute he withdrew from her and she looked up at him curiously. He was pushing his pants down and tugging them off at his ankles. She'd never seen this much of a man before, all the rippling muscle, the marked flesh. He paused with his hands on the waistband of his boxer shorts, eyes holding hers. She gulped and her eyes fell to his waist as he pushed his last article of clothing off and glanced back at her.

"You've never seen a man before, have you?" Will asked softly and Tessa shook her head no, eyes still glued to his erect member. "Do you... know what happens?" he continued hesitantly. Finally, Tessa broke her gaze with an embarrassed cough and nodded.

"Aunt Harriet explained how everything... fits together," she mumbled and blushed. "But seeing it now, I don't believe it'll work." She laughed nervously and Will joined her with a chuckle. Her next words surprised him. "Can I-" she began, stopped, and took a deep breath. "Can I touch it?"

Will regarded her with an affectionate smile. "I'd love it if you would," he half joked. She sat up and, as if in a trance, reached a timid hand out. Her fingers brushed the tip of him and he inhaled sharply. Girls had touched him before, but he'd never, in his wildest dreams, imagined Tessa would. The gray eyed girl continued to explore, caressing and stroking, unaware of exactly what she was doing to him. Finally she looked up at his face and jerked her hand back suddenly.

"I'm sorry, Will! Am I hurting you? You should have said something!" she exclaimed.

Will gave a choked laugh and moved towards her, forcing her back again. "Quite the opposite, actually," he soothed her and kissed her hungrily. They carried on in the same fashion for long minutes until Will finally drew back from her. He was gasping for air. "This is the last time I'll ask because I can't do this for much longer, are you absolutely sure? It'll probably hurt, and I don't want to hurt you, but it's sort of unavoidable and-"

"Will," Tessa cut him off. She placed a hand on either side of his burning face, capturing his eyes and saying sincerely, "I trust you." He kept his fever bright eyes locked on hers as he guided himself to her entrance. She felt him there with a giddy sort of excitement. She was ready to cast off the proper Tessa Gray of the human world and jump headfirst into this improper world of Shadowhunters and Downworlders.

"I love you," Will breathed huskily before he captured her mouth and thrust into her quickly. She bit back the squeak of pain as she felt something inside her snap. It must have been her maidenhood like Aunt Harriet had spoken of; she'd warned her it would hurt. She tore her mouth from Will's and sucked in a sharp breath, her teeth clenched together, her eyes squeezed shut.

She heard Will's ragged breathing beside her ear. "I'm sorry, Tessa," he apologized. "We can stop right now if you want?"

"No, I've gone this far, just give me a moment," Tessa ground out. Will held himself perfectly still, giving her all the time she needed, though she could only imagine how agonizing it was for him. The pain subsided after a minute or two and her breathing returned to normal.

"Okay," she said, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Will asked.

"Yes, Will, keep going," she urged. He paused, as if considering, but finally he slid the rest of himself into her with a pleasured hiss. He paused again to let her adjust fully.

"Oh God, Tess," he groaned, his head dropping into the crook of her neck.

"This is sex?" Tessa finally asked tightly. "I can't see why people do it... It's rather uncomfortable really..." Will gave a funny little strangled laugh.

"It gets better, I promise you," he pledged, raising his head to kiss her lips softly.

"Then make it better?" Tessa suggested slyly, raising another chuckle from Will.

He began to move slowly within her, taking his time and letting her adjust. His first few strokes were indeed painful, but the pain subsided into pleasure. Soon enough she began to enjoy herself and felt a building pressure in her nether regions, climbing higher and higher as Will began to rub the little nub again and continued thrusting into her.

"Oh God, Will," she moaned as the pressure reached its peak and exploded spectacularly. It was the best feeling she'd ever felt!

Above her Will groaned, "Tess!" and shuddered, slowing and finally stilling his movements. His arms shook on either side of her and his breathing was harder than she'd ever heard it. He sagged against her and she reached up to wrap her arms around him in a hug. He kissed her sweetly on the lips over and over, smoothing her hair away from her face.

"I can't imagine what I would have done if you'd told me to stop that last time," he finally admitted, eliciting a small laugh from Tessa.

"Well, I'm glad I didn't stop you," Tessa admitted letting Will capture her lips once again.

**Author's Note** So there it is! There was just so much sexual tension in the books I couldn't help but wonder 'what if' to a few of the scenes. I'm thinking of doing one with Jem for the scene in his bedroom, but I don't know whether to pretend this never happened, or if it should be a mini-continuation of this one? Suggestions? Comments? Constructive criticism? All are welcome in a review!


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